Breakthrough

A very small one, indeed, but a breakthrough. I've been stuck at 222 for a while now....I've finally lost a pound, down to 221, making it 29 pounds lost. Just one more till 30. I'd like to lose 35 by May 19, a date with personal significance, and I might. And if I don't, that will be fine, too. As long as I keep going down.

Even while I was stubbornly not losing weight, however, things were happening. The size 20's (with the exception of a maroon pinstripe skirt that was hiding in my closet, and which was very clearly cut small) I'm out of size 20. I did another shopping trip on Tuesday, and while most of what I bought was 18, there was one 16 that snuck in. (Women's sizes, still, of course. But still smaller than I was taking).

That trip was remarkable for a few reasons. For one thing, it was the first time in recent memory that I shopped for a few hours straight, in high-heeled sandals, and didn't need to sit down for a rest because of my aching back. My back doesn't ache now. I have other aches, but I'm also 51. The excruciating lower back pain is gone, gone, gone, though. Thank God. (I can also stand longer to cook, which is a good thing, because WW foods take an awful lot of chopping and slicing). I also tried clothes on. I was still not in a hurry to look at myself in the merciless lights of a dressing room (and I always remember my friend Judy saying that you wouldn't buy the clothes you walked in wearing, if you looked at them under those lights...which of course begged the fact that, well, you did actually try those clothes on, too, at one point, but I do know what she means) but I was in there trying the clothes on. When something didn't fit, or wasn't flattering, I didn't take it so personally this time, either. It's the way it is. I'm a work in progress right now, that's all. Truthfully, one of my main problems was that everything is polka dots right now, and I LOVE polka dots. If I fully indulged my love for polka dots, though, I'd look like a Dalmatian.

So I was happy. I shopped the bargain racks, because there's no point in buying clothes that aren't going to fit soon anyway. I had a real get thee behind me, Satan, moment at the Ralph Lauren sale rack. A white linen skirt with ribbon trim--adorable--and a silk tweed jacket, that fit in 18!--also adorable. Together, however, about $300. I have no real place to wear them, no ritzy weddings or graduations to attend, and they're not going to fit in 6 weeks to 2 months, and that's just not something I can do. I contented myself with a skirt that is a tiny bit on the snug side, but with elastic inserts, so that it will fit for a while, that was $38 down from $109. (I love the racks that say, take 50% off lowest ticketed price. Yes! I have some amazing bargains from those racks). Then I betook myself to Talbots and made my very first Talbots purchase, a skirt for $30 from $98. Not very interesting, only a straight black skirt, saved from utter tedium only by the matte bronze sequins on the bottom, but it fits, flatters, and will last me for a while. I need a workhorse black skirt.

I was talking to my cousin yesterday, who has weight issues of her own, which, because she reads here, I will not address. They are hers, and not mine to spread to the world. Suffice it to say that she's thrilled for me that I'm losing weight, and when I somewhat self-depracatingly said that I bought a smaller size, but that the smaller size was an 18, she said, "Any number that has a 'teen' after it is good!" I hadn't looked at it that way, so that was illuminating. She's right. The next thrill will be going from women's to misses, and after that, hopefully, I'll be able to buy something, once in a while, that's a single digit. I don't think I've ever been in the single digits in my entire life.